USS REAGAN
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!
When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refuelling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet
Capability
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation
8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's salaries included).
HMAS KEVIN RUDD
The HMAS KEVIN RUDD (KRUD51) set sail today from its home port of Werribee Sewage Farm.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Kevin Rudd 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of PM.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.
It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Australian States and Territories at all costs.
An onboard Type One Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Australian’s offensive. The number of apologies is limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
In times of conflict, the HMAS KEVIN RUDD has orders to seek refuge in China.
3 comments:
"It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft"
The picture shows an F-14 Tomcat.
Yours in the interests of historical accuracy yadda yadda, etc, etc.
No need to thank me, happy to consolidate your comments in double figures.
Ah, but I will thank you Nabakov, although there are a couple of other errors that you missed. The correct alpha-numeric designation for Australia's fighter aircraft is F/A-18, so the text is wrong. The barge also has US NAVY written across the front, something any HMAS is unlikely to have.
As I mentioned at the start of the post though, this was an email I received, and I thought it amusing enough to post it on the blog. I can’t claim any credit for the production of this gag, but I’ll pass your critique onto the person who sent it to me. I’m sure that by reverse engineering an email chain, the original author can be found and will appreciate your feedback.
I congratulate you on your static aircraft recognition skills. You’ve certainly put me, and the author to shame for such a glaring error. You could put me right back in my box by presenting the reference to where Bernard Cornwell decided that Rifle Officer was a rank or a mode of address. Otherwise I’ll just have to assume that like a majority of the poseurs at LP, you really don’t know your arse from your elbow.
For Nabakov's benefit: that photo went into circulation in the InterTubes back when Tim What-'s-Face was trying to be a Computer Scientist.
Cheers
JMH
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