I have a confession to make.

In light of all the media attention on Sarah Palin’s wardrobe, it is time for me to make a confession. I spend my working day comfortably attired in clothing provided to me for free by the Australian taxpayer. It gets worse though. When those clothes start to get a bit worn and tatty, I just hand them over and I get brand new ones for free. I don’t pay a red cent. The Australian taxpayer covers the cost of my fashionable wardrobe. I know they are fashionable. I see the cool kids at the shops wearing them while they skateboard around the mums with 80 bags of shopping, two kids and a pram. Those suckers had to fork over their hard earned allowances to dress as well as I do. I get them for free!

It has been absolutely astonishing how readily I have been furnished with these taxpayer funded clothes. There was a new line introduced recently. They just gave me the new design. I didn’t have to ask. I didn’t even have to give my old ones up. It’s a rort I tell you. I was also recently preparing for a little business trip overseas. The clothes I had been given were the wrong colour, so they just gave me new ones in another colour. They were exactly the same as the other ones, just a different hue!

Sarah Palin has got nothing on me. Her clothes were purchased by her party, not the taxpayer, and they’ll be sold for charity at the end of the campaign. The taxpayer gives me my free clothes, and when I’m finished with them they get cut up into cleaning rags. You poor suckers, all bent out of shape because money donated to a political party is used to dress their candidate for the second highest job in the country, and all the while I swan around in clothes you paid for with no political aspirations at all. BWAHAHAHA!